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07/05/2008

Britain's got talent...but America's got jobs

With her glamorous image and English accent, Sharon Carpenter is one of America's most recognisable TV reporters and has interviewed celebrities ranging from Oprah Winfrey to George Lucas .

But the London-born presenter for Black Entertainment Television (BET) says her career would never have been possible in the UK where ethnic women are a rarity on our screens and black culture is demoted to the sidelines.

Sharon_carpenter_2
Today, Carpenter lives in Brooklyn, New York a long way away from the Guildford neighbourhood in which she grew up and suffered racist taunts due to her mixed race background.

It was only when her parents - both doctors - were invited to study at America's prestigious Harvard University that she dared to dream of a career in TV.

In an interview with Carpenter last week, she told me why the move across the pond inspired her.

"I never really considered a career in television until I moved to America for University. Growing up in the UK I never felt that an opportunity like that could exist for me so it was never even a thought.

"A career like that just seemed too unreachable because I rarely saw any TV personalities or reporters that looked anything like me. Once I moved to America I think that's when I actually realised that there's a world of opportunity out there, the world is my oyster and I could do anything I wanted.

"Everyday you see and hear about people who have made it big at a young age, people of all colours, in every field, some of whom have come from the most humble beginnings. This really is the land of opportunity."

Unfortunately the same cannot be said about Britain - particularly for black people looking to carve out a successful career in TV.

The issue has become a hot talking point in recent weeks.

Lenny Henry , one of the first black people to make it onto mainstream British TV, fired the opening salvo in a speech to the Royal Television Society earlier this year when he said the industry had failed to employ a representative workforce - in front and behind the cameras.

His views were backed up by the multi-talented Meera Syal and Samir Shah, a former head of current affairs at the BBC

It was soon followed by the launch of Underexposed a photographic exhibition featuring a series of striking portraits of black British actors.

The project was conceived by the actor Fraser James, in response to claims in the media that a lack of strong, positive role models was to blame for a rise in youth crime in Britain's black community.

James' argument is that there is no shortage of talent out there - just a shortage of opportunities and lack of visibility.

Which brings me back to Carpenter, a British woman who gets fanmail from all over the US, yet is unknown in the UK.

But that could soon change , after BET launched in the UK last month.

The channel caters to black people - with a particular focus on hip hop music, culture and fashion - but is in no way a niche brand in the US.

Carpenter adds: "There are definitely differences between the US and the UK in terms of black culture.
Black culture over here is way more mainstream. In the UK there has been a lack of programming that truly reflects black culture. Growing up I rarely saw images of girls or women that looked like me and even today, young girls are experiencing that same void. It's having a serious impact on some of them.

Unfortunately, I think too many of us just accept this type of ethnic exclusion but it's up to us as people of colour to do something about it and work to make a change. Combined ethnic minorities are a very powerful consumer force and money talks."

Sharon Carpenter is not the only one that got away.

From the singer Estelle,who topped the charts last month with American Boy to the actress Caroline Chikezie who stars in the cult show Supernatural to the comedian Gina Yashere, who has just finished shooting a comedy special in LA, all feel that their ethnicity is a strength and not a liability in America - and have no plans to return to Britain anytime soon.

Henry Bonsu, a former BBC presenter and director of Colourful Radio, who has just finished shooting a documentary for BET on the subject, said: "If Sharon has stuck around in the UK she probably would have got a couple of gigs on MTV maybe. In reality she would have had a fraction of the opportunities she has in the US. In Britain, the media bosses and commissioning editors have mental shackles. Do they trust whether a black woman would connect with their viewers? I doubt it.

"It's inspirational that talented women like Sharon are building their careers in the US., and not letting the lack of opportunities in the UK dishearten them."

15/04/2008

ITV breaks the Daisy chain

NOT content with having ripped off their viewers, ITV now seems to be giving the rest of the industry a masterclass in how to generally disgruntle them too, this time by chopping the second episode of Pushing Daisies.
The beleaguered broadcaster decided to go straight from episode one to three on their massively promoted primetime drama - as they only scheduled eight weeks for the nine episode series.
Leaks that this was down to a scheduler failing to count the number of programmes are unconfirmed, but given ITV's poor track record in the counting department (usually phone votes), you wouldn't put it past them.
The problem has been caused by the fact that week nine, clashes with the Euro 2008 tie between Portugal and Turkey, which of course, simply cannot be shifted to one of the other ITV channels.
ITV tried a sneaky one by touting episode three as episode two in the TV guides.
But a handful of vigilant fans spotted the anomaly, promptly posted it up on forums and emailed ITV with their complaints.
ITV's response to the hundreds of complaints, (including an ever-growing online petition and an amusing thread on the BBC's Points of View website) has been a bit bizarre.
A spokesman told me: "We're delighted Pushing Daisies has aroused such strong feelings by fans," before adding that at some point later in the year they would screen the missing episode which "doesn't really effect the narrative flow anyway".
But you can't fob off your viewers like that, and those 'strong feelings' he speaks of are ones of disgust - towards ITV.
Those who have already seen the show in America have hit back quickly on the forums arguing that the second episode is crucial to the development of the main character Ned.
The missing instalment sees the pie maker come to terms with his powers and we also get some flashbacks of his childhood.
ITV really shouldn't have got into this mess.
They could have kicked off the series on Saturday by showing the first two episodes back to back, which is standard practice for a big season opener.
But instead they decided to show American Pie 2 at 10pm.
Perhaps they could axe Pushing Daisies altogether (good as it is, more Brits tuned in to watch Casualty) and start all over again with a new acquisition.
ITV could splash out on the next series of 24 (which they would surely cut down to whichever number they see fit).
Or they could free up a slot by sparing us the final of Britain's Got Talent and just hand the title to the wonder dog, which we know is going to win anyway.

12/03/2008

Working class Britain is not all white

When the BBC announced earlier this year that they were broadcasting a special season of programmes on the issues facing white working class Britain, I was immediately sceptical.
From the start, the statements made by the season's commissioning editor Richard Klein and BBC 2 controller Roly Keating about putting the 'spotlight on a community' who felt 'their voices were not being heard', made me cringe.

It looked like the BBC were stoking controversy in order to appear 'bold', 'brave' and most importantly unafraid to upset the PC brigade. In my view, they have got this all wrong on many fronts.

Firstly, why focus on race as the defining issue that governs every waking thought of white, working class Brits?
Immigration is a talking point and issue that concerns many people today, but so too are issues such as crime, education, globalisation, the break down of the family unit and so on.

If you believe the picture of Britain painted by the BBC, the so called 'ordinary British family' is more concerned about Mr and Mrs Khan moving in next door than they are about whether the government are spending enough on hospitals or why the local playground is making way for a new block of flats.
It's inaccurate, misleading and needlessly provocative stuff.

Secondly, are white indigenous Brits more disenfranchised than anyone else in Britain right now?
Television is largely made up of white, middle-class males and anyone who doesn't fit into that club could have a strong case for arguing that TV does not adequately cater to them or accurately reflect the issues they face.
I doubt very much whether there is a 'Muslim season' or a 'Women's Season' in the pipeline.
Thirdly, why, oh why, did the BBC allow Nick Griffin to air his racist propaganda, largely unchallenged, on Newsnight? It was a highly crass move, particularly as it was part of a segment which was designed to promote the season.

Promo The season was promoted with an insensitive advert and launched at a time when the corporation has come under fire for its poor record in employing people from ethnic minority groups.

The BBC set out to provoke controversy in order to look like they are not afraid to examine issues that other broadcasters would shy away from. But by bundling them into this imbalanced and poorly planned 'White season' they have only demonstrated once again that far from being the most cutting edge force in television the BBC remains as woefully out of touch with reality as ever.

04/02/2008

Johnny Vaughan Rubbishes the Rajars

Johnny Vaughan, Capital 95.8's motor-mouthed breakfast show host is no fan of Rajar the official body in charge of measuring audience figures in the UK.
"If I understood the ratings or had any faith in them at all I would be delighted if we had won. They are complete c**p to everyone and are not even vaguely representative," he told me on Monday, shortly after coming off air with Denise van Outen following their first radio show together.

He added: "If you were wandering round London and handing out diaries for people to fill in what radio station they listen to, where would you go? A housing estate in Deptford or a really nice cul de sac in Ealing. Most people say, 'ooh yes, Radio 4 I listen to Radio 4', and they never listen - its just what people say. People just lie. I have no faith whatsoever in the system so I don't care where it places us."
Perhaps Vaughan's dismissive attitude to the Rajars is not a surprise, given that the release of their official stats every three months has, more often than not, spelt bad news for him and Capital since he took over the coveted slot from Chris Tarrant.
Back in June 2004, Vaughan's first Rajar saw an immediate decline of 400,000 listeners and the 41 year-old has seen a few ups and even more downs since as he continued to fight for the audience share against the likes of Radio One's Chris Moyles who smugly dubbed his rival 'Johnny Yawn'.

But is there substance to Vaughan's claims that the Rajars are 'not vaguely-representative'? Well Rajar's London stats for the last quarter of 2007 - which put Vaughan in second place (864,000 listeners) behind Jamie and Harriet on Heart FM (915,000 listeners) in the 6-9 am slot - were based on a survey of 4,639 adults.
The polling, a Rajar spokeswoman insists, involves field workers knocking on every second and third door in all London postcodes spread across the year - meaning that a housing estate in Deptford should have indeed fallen into the catchment at some point over the last four quarters.

Vaughan001_4 But the spokeswoman admits there are some areas where improvement is necessary.
"We do our level best to survey all age, socioeconomic and ethnic groups but there are some groups which are under-represented such as 18-35 year-old males.
"Also, Asian women, for example, are more likely to turn down filling out the diaries with a field worker, so that's an area we need to improve on."
Whether Johnny Vaughan's Breakfast Show has had a huge untapped group of listeners in the form of Asian women who are either too shy or too conservative to fill out a survey with a Rajar field worker, we will never know.

But the admission that 18-35 year-old males are under represented goes some way to vindicating Vaughan's argument, particularly as he has lost out to both Heart and Magic in recent months (stations which primarily target older, female listeners).
But what about Vaughan's claim that 'people just lie' thus falsely inflating the figures for cerebral radio such as Radio 4's Today programme?

"Well its easy to be cynical when you are in the media," says the Rajar spokeswoman, "but people genuinely feel that they want to help us when we compile our figures and our findings are as accurate as is humanly possible."
In the ultra-competitive world of radio, the Rajars can make or break careers and have been the difference between a profitable year for a commercial station and one where redundancies become inevitable.

And until Rajar finally bring out a more scientifically-sound way of measuring audiences (they have tested various contraptions), Vaughan's argument seems just as valid as the figures they release.

But later in the year if Capital Breakfast with Johnny and Denise is named as London's top breakast show, it will be interesting to see whether he will still be rubbishing the Rajars.


16/01/2008

Rebekah Wade stands by her boss

DOES the political stance of the daily newspaper we choose to read still influence how we vote?
Or, for that matter, if we bother voting at all? Most of the members of the House of Lords Select Committee who gave the Sun's editor Rebekah Wade a grilling on Wednesday, clearly believe it does.
A combative Wade, who defended her red-top tabloid concisely - and wittily - insisted several times that the paper's proprietor, Rupert Murdoch does not decide which party the Sun backs.

She also stated that she had not yet taken a decision on whether the Sun would support the Conservatives or Labour in the next general election. "I don't know when the next election is but we are looking at every initiative that David Cameron or the prime minister release and looking at it in terms of benefit to our readers.
"For example, on inheritance tax policies, we, on balance, found that George Osborne's was better than Alistair Darling's.
"The process will be with me, my political team and also my health and crime team. We will look at it and decide who is going to be the better candidate for the Sun readers."

This of course, is the current editor of the paper, which famously declared after John Major won the 1992 election "It's The Sun Wot Won It." Since then the support of the Sun has been seen as crucial in swinging elections and the newspaper's backing of Tony Blair in 1997 was similarly seen as a critical factor in ushering New Labour's ascent to power. Asked again about the influence of Murdoch - who had earlier told the same Lords committee that he was a "traditional proprietor" and decided what line to take on Europe and which party to back at general elections - the editor replied:
"In the run up to the last election I was very careful to give the Conservative Party and the Labour Party the chance to show their wares in the Sun so the Sun readers could make up their own mind on their policies.
" In the end however, I did talk to Mr Murdoch. He has lived through political change here, in America and Australia and his advice is always exemplary and good. But I also seek advice from my political team and our chief executive. The way I edit a paper I do seek advice and I am very lucky to have a traditional proprietor such as Mr Murdoch."

It was a diplomatic performance that neither undermined her boss or underlined his influence in determining the political stance of the country's most widely read newspaper.
When the committee's chairman Lord Fowler asked if Murdoch ever told her off for 'taking the wrong line,' Wade decided to move away from politics.
"In 18 years we have had some disagreements. Mr Murdoch is often dismayed on the amount of celebrity coverage in the Sun.
"We disagree about that because I'm a big Big Brother fan and he was surprised that I devoted four pages to it every day. I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here can also cause problems but we are absolutely in agreement on Pop Idol," she quipped.
When asked if the disagreements had been over any more serious issues, Wade joked: "Do you mean Strictly Come Dancing?"

09/01/2008

How Channel 4 recovered from the Big Brother bother

Nobody at Channel 4 will be celebrating the fact that Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack, is clocking up less than half the viewers that last year's ill-fated Celebrity Big Brother managed to register. But bosses at the broadcaster will take this hit on the chin, because twelve months after Jade Goody and her pals ignited a race row, generated record complaints, lost the show millions of pounds in sponsorship and ruined Gordon Brown's trip to India we are beginning to see a silver lining for Channel 4.

The fact that Celebrity Hijack is only being shown on E4, has left a void in the peak 9pm slot on Channel 4 through January, thus giving the broadcaster's key decision makers the chance to go back to the very essence of what it was meant to be about in the first place - bold, innovative, campaigning television.

When looking at how to fill the gap, Channel 4, led by their head of programming Julian Bellamy, decided this would be an opportunity to recapture the public's affection. And what was the big success story at the channel in recent years? Jamie's School Dinners which not only got loads of viewers, but an abundance of positive press after the series triggered a significant shift in government policy on school meals.

So Channel 4 are hoping to repeat the trick this time with The Big Food Fight season, with Gordon Ramsay and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall joining Jamie Oliver in campaigning for better eating in Britain. It's all very noble and there's not a race slur in sight.

The success of The Big Food Fight largely depends on whether it can effect real changes in the industry much like Jamie's School Dinners did and If Channel 4 manage to help Britain's chicken farmers or tackle obesity then memories of last year's Celebrity Big Brother row will fade quickly.

You can also bet that Celebrity Big Brother will be back on Channel 4 next year with the usual bunch of quirky c-listers, showbiz has-beens and glamour models. The public will be hungry for its return and I can see it once again being the money-spinning franchise that lured big sponsorship deals and was the jewel in Channel 4's Winter schedule.

Channel 4 and Endemol will be better equipped to handle any controversies, and will not seek to engineer conflict as they did when they stuck Jade Goody and her family in the house to ruffle feathers.

So while Channel 4 looks to have finally recovered from the fiasco, the Goody and Shetty publicity machines rumble on.

Jade Goody may not be the money-making force she once was but nevertheless she still gets more publicity then anyone who's ever actually won Big Brother.

In fact, on most days you can find Goody in the papers including the Indian tabloids which have developed a strange fascination with the 'Big Brother villain'.

Goody's branded exercise videos, TV programmes and perfumes may have come off the shelves -but they have instead been replaced by Shilpa Shetty's own conveyor belt of cash-ins, the latest being a Yoga DVD which followed after the perfume, the musical, CD compilations and much more.

Shetty is now perceived as attaching her name to anything that will fill her coffers and can no longer rely on the gushing publicity she received when she emerged from the house.

So as Shetty and Goody work anxiously to keep their name and faces in the papers for the right reasons - it is Channel 4 - and its celebrity chef crusade - that is getting all the positive headlines one year on.

14/12/2007

Heard the one about the Muslim comedians at the American embassy?

Apologies for my lack of blogging over the past month. I have come prepared with a solid excuse though. In the four weeks since my tenure as the Evening Standard's media correspondent began, I have been ricocheting between parties, lunches, awards ceremonies, film screenings and channel launches - all of which are turned into stories, which take time to write and eat into my precious blogging time!

In terms of sheer quantity of events, we are right in the midst of the busy season which comes just before the 'Christmas lull'. One of the highlights of the busy season came after an invite to the American Embassy on Grosvenor Square. Watching a comedian impersonate George Bush and his questionable pronunciation of the word terrorist (he says 'terrace') inside Uncle Sam's London fortress is surreal. It was also a hilarious night.

The unlikely gig was part of the Allah Made Me Funny tour, which featured American stand-up comics Azhar Usman, Preacher Moss and Mohammed Amer. The audience for the evening consisted of various Muslim activists, Imams and Mosque-wallahs who sat alongside embassy staff and diplomats. The Muslim community is not one noted for its sense of humour (due to the fact that 90% of all Muslims shown on TV are depicted as humourless fundamentalists) but these comedians were fantastic, as were the people in the audience - many of whom greeted each other by joking; 'how did they let you in here?'. Brilliant.

My favourite comedian of the trio has to be Azhar Usman This portly 31 year-old from Chicago had the audience rolling in the aisles. One of his best gags?
"I'm really excited to be in Europe. Totally different vibe over here than America. I walk down the street in America, I get dirty looks for being a Muslim. So sometimes it's kind of nice to be hated just for being an American."

And another cracker was: "People are real nice to me on planes..once it safely lands. They just lean over and smile, and they're like, 'Ha, ha, ha, ha (waves hi).' I'm just waiting for a real honest passenger at the end of the flight, like, 'Excuse me, sir, I thought you were going to kill us. Sorry about that.'"

A great night and bravo to the embassy's Cultural Attache Michael Masey for arranging it along with British Asian events supremo Waleed Jahangir. Michael is also arranging a screening at the embassy for the film The Kite Runner in the coming weeks - but surely he should now focus is efforts on getting the Allah Made Me Funny guys into the White House to entertain Dubya himself.

12/11/2007

The Sopranos may be gone..but it is British drama that sleeps with the fishes

IT has been three weeks now and the series link function on my Sky HD box has remained sadly neglected (apart from its use in my wife's devotion to Strictly Come Dancing) because the fact is, nothing really compares to The Sopranos.

After six seasons, eighty-six episodes and numerous whackings the greatest TV show of all time is now 'sleeping with the fishes'.

I will miss the shoulder-shrugging of Silvio, the temperamental Paulie, the musings of Dr Melfi and the whining of Anthony Jr....
But most of all I will miss the angst, charm, brutality, wit, greed, chauvinism and gluttony of Tony Soprano - surely the most multifaceted character ever to appear on television.

The end of The Sopranos has left a void in my life that is yet to be filled.
Not even the flavour of the month show 'Heroes' has done the job.  Despite being fairly compelling and original, it does give me the feeling that the producers and writers are making it up as they go along, which makes me feel conned.

I had the same feeling with Lost which I eventually lost interest in half way through the second season.
A friend of mine who works in television says that series such as Lost and Heroes are the future; TV dramas that don't really progress.
They are scripted and structured as such that you feel that the characters are developing and the plot is progressing but it actually isn't really going anywhere.
They will go on and on and on, as TV executives sell more and more adverts but in the end the finality offered by a film is never there.

The Sopranos side-stepped this problem by having several strands and mini stories within the show running simultaneously.
Plots such as Tony's best friend, Salvatore "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero 'ratting' on the crew, and Tony's authority being challenged by rivals such as Ralph Cifaretto and Richie Aprille were successfully introduced and concluded - in memorable fashion - as each season progressed.

However, Lost and Heroes are both entertaining and well produced enough, as are other American dramas such as 24, Grey's Anatomy, House and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - to name just a few.

It would be wonderful to think that a British drama could fill the void left by The Sopranos - but this seems unlikely.
American dramas trounce British ones in many ways; from the quality of script-writing to the amount of money spent on the sets to the calibre of actors signed up.

Unfortunately, going into TV is seen by British actors as career death wish.
If Keira Knightley were to take a break from Hollywood to star in Bad Girls her career would be finished.
I tried to get into 'edgy' British dramas such as Hustle, Spooks and Bodies but the acting always seems a bit hammy and the writing a bit cliched.

Is there a vacuum of original ideas in the creative departments of British TV?

Perhaps the BBC could give Jonathan Ross a year off, take the £6 million salary he reportedly pockets, use it to poach HBO's sharpest thinkers and give us a drama series we deserve!

Until then I will have to make do with watching season one repeats of The Sopranos.

17/10/2007

Lib Dem revival rests on winning back ethnic voters

Sir Menzies Campbell's resignation has presented the Lib Dems with a massive opportunity to get back on track.

Nick Clegg and Chris Huhne are the favourites to become the Liberal Democrats' third leader in two years but whoever takes the helm at the party will immediately be expected to grab more attention from the electorate and the media then Ming ever could.

At the centre of any plans to resurrect the party should be a renewed commitment to bag ethnic voters and get more Black and Asian MPs in parliament.

Before the last general election I met several senior politicians in the Lib Dems who were attempting to lure Asian voters away from Labour.

This included, the party's then leader Charles Kennedy and mayoral candidate Simon Hughes.

At the time I was editor of a newspaper serving the British Asian community and both asked me about my thoughts on how the party was perceived by Asians.

I told them that I felt that second and third generation British Asians, were, in general, liberal in their views and the war on Iraq had left many seeking an alternative to Labour.

They spoke passionately about taking on the issues that mattered to ethnic minority groups and central to this would also be a plan to put up more BME candidates in future elections.

With the Tories spewing out the usual anti-immigration rhetoric at the time, it seemed the stage was set for the Lib Dems to make massive gains, bolstered by a boost in ethnic voters.

When Sarah Teather won the Brent East by-election in 2003 it showed that the Lib Dems could capitalise on the anti-war sentiments and dismay being felt over the Labour party's general shift to the right under Tony Blair.

They looked set to reach - and keep hold of - a whole new generation of voters.

But in reality, they blew it and the party's popularity has spiralled downwards since 2005.

Their plight has been worsened by the resurgent Tories who have taken the initiative on issues where the Lib Dems once held sway, such as the green agenda.

And while the Lib Dems are no strangers to campaigning on environmental issues they could really appeal to the electorate in the next election by championing human rights.

In the Muslim community for example, feelings run high over issues such as anti-terror legislation, the 'nanny state' and Guantanomo Bay, and the Lib Dems could present solid counter-arguments on such matters.

But crucial to all of this should be a solid plan to get more non-white politicians involved with the party.

The party talk a good game when it comes to the issue of ethnic representation but influential Lib Dem figures, such as Lord Navnit Dholakia and prospective mayoral candidate Fiyaz Mughal are said to be unhappy at the woeful lack of progress in this vital area and will push to make it a priority for the new leader.

Nasser Butt, a long-standing campaigner for the Lib Dems gave a damning indictment of the problem at the party's recent conference.

"We have done nothing on the ground to change anything in order to get any BME candidates selected to any parliamentary seat.

"There is no willpower, there is no will, there's no commitment to actually do things properly once we have made these promises.'"

And its not just Black and Asian politicians they should be trying to bring into the fold.

In some constituencies, particularly in London, support from emerging groups such as the Somalian or Polish communities could prove to be crucial in winning key seats at the next election.

To do this, Labour, the Conservatives and the Lib Dems need to recruit talented individuals from these groups, in addition to Black and Asian communities, and groom them into the political stars of the future.

Theoretically the Lib Dems could have the edge on this over the Tories - where David Cameron's priority candidates have been constantly snubbed by many of the party's local associations.

Whether it be Clegg or Huhne, at the top of the new Lib Dem leader's list should be a commitment to deliver on their promises to get more ethnic candidates into parliament and devise a strategy to woo ethnic voters like never before.

If they get that right, then the Lib Dems will go a long way to putting all the back-stabbing and instability of the past two years behind them.

24/09/2007

Ten facts about this year's Labour Conference...make of them what you will

This is my second Labour Party Conference and aside from the awful stodgy food, sleep deprivation and chilly seaside wind, it's great to be here and i've met some fascinating people.

As the Evening Standard's news man here, I am able to take a sideways look at the whole circus and report on the news outside of the political agenda and endless party gossip.
So here's ten facts that may or may not help us understand the people running our country a little bit more. Make of them what you will...

1. There is no official Labour Party merchandise on sale this year featuring a picture of Gordon Brown. In previous years, mugs featuring the face of Tony Blair were a bestseller. At last year's Conservative Party conference, Boris Johnson mugs were also a big money spinner. But you won't find GB's mug on a mug.

2. There is no prayer room on site for Muslim delegates and party members. Some have privately complained to me at having to exit and then re-enter the secure zone after going back to their hotel rooms to pray. The Labour Press Office have been unable to tell me why this provision has not been set up.

3. There are between five and ten policeman here whose sole job is to stand on the seafront near the Highcliffe hotel (where Gordon et al are staying)  and stare at the sea - possiblyPp34767537alan looking out for 'terrorist frogmen'.

4. Former foreign secretary Margaret Beckett happily posed for a photo with a champagne flute in her hand. at the New Statesman bash.  However, probably wary of being dubbed a 'champagne socialist' Health Secretary Alan Johnson preferred to hide his flute behind his back as he smiled for our photographer. (see picture).

5. For the second year running, Keith Vaz held his traditional 'Diversity Nite', celebrating Cultural Diversity in the Labour Party, at a Chinese Restaurant. This despite there still being no MP's of Chinese origin in British politics.

6. Communities Secretary Hazel Blears has 965 friends on Facebook. Work and Pensions Secretary Peter Hain has 1,020. Culture Secretary James Purnell has 354.
Labour Party outcast and ex Celebrity Big Brother contestant George Galloway has 3,480 friends..and counting.

7. Ken Livingstone bemoans the fact that you cannot get a cappucino at 8am on the Bournemouth seafront. This, he says, would not be a problem in London. A cappucino in the conference area, by the way, costs a whopping £2.60 and even some MPs have complained to one amused coffee shop manager.

8. Amongst the various zones Labour has created in the vast Bournemouth International Centre, is an International Lounge.  When you go in through the door abruptly signposted with the words  'International Visitors Only', various people from all over the world are sat, on different tables. There are Americans, Kenyans, Indians and Australians to name a few. But nobody gets what the point of the lounge is. "At the very least they could have put a world clock on the wall,' one Iraqi visitor told me.

9. Gordon Brown may have basked in a four-minute standing ovation following his speech, but it pales in comparison to the seven minute applause Blair's farewell speech got last year and is only one minute longer than the ovation he got after his own speech in 2006. Brown's advisors were hoping it would last longer than the five minute mark.

10. On the agonisingly slow train I took from London Waterloo to Bournemouth, which was packed with journalists, politicians and delegates, the driver announced that the buffet car was no longer serving any food, coffee, tea or soft drinks - just booze. Everyone in my carriage cheered.